Slutty, like your mom

Saturday, September 16, 2006

thank god i get to beat the crap out of people

Fist things first....before i get into it, i have to talk about this.
First of all, this is why models get paid a shit load of money. Not because they have to have a certain look, or weigh .03 ounces, but because they have to wear shit like this. And they have to act like it's the best outfit they've ever had on their body. A of all, i'm fairly certain shelly long wears this "hat" on the movie troop beverly hills, for a cheap laugh at her character's expense. B of all, she's got a fucking shoe on her head! In case you were wondering this is a picture from a fashion week show.

ok. so now that i've got that out of my system. I have to talk about myself. If this is suprising you, you probably don't know me. If you did you would already know that i'm one of my favorite topics. Anywho, over the past few days i've done some critical thinking about myself, specifically in respect to why i continue to repeat the same mistakes. I'm a picker. bear with me now cuz this is gonna take a minute. When i say i'm a picker, i mean i'm constantly focused on removing things that are bound to return. For example boogers, or scabs. I pick all of my scabs. And then the grow back, and i pick at them some more, and then the grow back and i pick at them some more. Rinse and repeat until there is a scar. ok. So now apply that to my life in general. I only ever pick at things that are going to come back so i can pick them until there is a scar. Basically what i'm trying to say is that i've realized that i allow myself to consistantly make the same mistakes. It may be different scenarios and circumstances, but i always seem to start off fresh, make a complete mess of things and find myself in the same exact place i was right before i started over again the last time. So what is it? What is the critical error that i keep repeating that is always putting me into that same tight spot? I can't for the life of me figgure it out. So this many not make sense to anybody but me...but deal with it. Blah to that.

The good news is that tomorrow i have 80 minutes of beating the crap out of people scheduled. Seriously, if not for rugby, i don't know how i would ever release the frustrations that i have towards life. Ok

Also in the realm of good news....

I'm 1/4 of the way done with school. that makes me so happy i could punch a nun.

Ok Go makes the coolest music videos.

And lastly:

I was reading through "missed connections" on craigslist at work today, because A. I don't like doing my job, B. I secretly hope that somebody will post one to me and C. some of them are really funny.

today i came across one and it was not a missed connection at all.
The subject was "falling in love..."
the body: " like watching a car wreck happen in slow motion. the trick is [knowing] whether to steer away or just let go of the wheel..."

i couldn't agree more. Right now i'm really really want to just let go of the wheel, unfortuantely i'm very much in a steer away part of my life, and letting go of the wheel would pretty much kill me : (

thank god i get to beat the crap out of people.....


Sunday, September 10, 2006


ok, so mostly i just sigend up so that i could post a comment to a friend's blog (Angry Little Tank), but then i asked, why the hell not? I mean, i sometimes consider myself to be pretty awesome and I like to talk about myself, so why not start writing about myself. I honestly don't really expect anybody to read this, but it should be fun.

What should you expect to see as a reader?
A of all, you should not expect to see proper grammar, spelling, or any of that kinda shit. When i'm writing, i really don't pay attention to that kinda crap cuz i'm 1. too important to care about it and 2. too lazy to expend energy on it.
I'm not totally sure. It will probably be a mix of actual stuff that's going on in the world(which will always be nothing of specific value to the world at large) and my own real life. I imagine that it will most likely end up being the online equivilent of a reality show. But not one of those good reality of the really horrific ones that you feel ashamed to admit that you watch, but you can't stop yourself from tivoing. You should expect to read about things in my life that stress working at a job that i find repulsive, trying to stay on top of my school work, my questionable freindship skills...and the ways that i release all of my my drunkscapades and sexcapades(a.k.a. rugby weekends), and other stuff. Hell, i may not even write another blog after this one since i'm really not sure where i'm going to find the time to do this. A quick glance at my current schedule will show you that i work mon-fri 9-5:30, go to school mon-thur from 6-10, play rugby on saturdays, and starting at the end of this month, i'll be volunteering at HUP for 4 hours every sunday. Now, don't forget that along with all of this, I have to make time to do my homework, pay much needed attention to my friends and family, go to therapy so i can make sense of my retarded mind, keep up to date with my favorite tv shows and do things that all people need to do, like eating, sleeping, laundry, cleaning, bills, and all that kinda crap.
I'm really not sure how i'm going to handle getting all of this done, but the fact is, i will because i have to. I have to work so i can have medical insurance and pay all my bills. I have to go to school so i can get myself into a career that doesn't make me want throw myself down a filght of steps so that i have a reason to leave work. I have to play rugby because for the 8 months that i didn't i felt like i wasn't alive. blah blah blah, etc.

So after a very long weekend and just getting over another bought of tonsilitis, my ass is extra tired, and very ready for some sleeping.

till next time i remain,